Note: I’m in a pretty shabby mood this morning. I expect this post to be at least mildly offensive. If you’re too sensitive for that please read this post some other time or read something more entertaining like this.
Let me start off by saying excuses are a huge load of crap. You know that and, sorry to burst your bubble, everyone else knows that too. This is generally what happens.
- You say: I really want to workout but I just don’t have the time. Work is so busy you know. (You think: I’m such a freakin bullshitter)
- He says: Yea. Totally understand. (He thinks: He’s such a freakin bullshitter.)
Obviously I don’t have the patience today to write a story on the topic and so I’ll just pick a few excuses and make the excuse giver feel like crap. That should work for now.
1. I’m at work about 12-14 hours a day. I got no time to exercise.
A workout session takes 10-25 mins depending on what you do. If you’re at work 12-14 hrs a day I’m pretty darn sure you have 20 mins to spare. Maybe you can throw in a quick tabata squat workout (4 min workout) instead of reading about the latest findings on Lady Gaga’s gender?
Let’s put things into perspective here. 13 hours per day at work is 780 minutes. A workout can be done in 20 mins. That is 2.5% of your time at work! Can’t afford that?
OK. Even if you’re working the entire 13 hrs (yeah right!) and you have to do the workout after work, your work day gets longer by 2.5%. Compare that to the extra 10 years your life span will increase by. 2.5% increase in work day for a 15% increase in life span. Sounds like a good deal to me!
2. I don’t “workout”. I just run.
So? That makes you fit? That makes you healthy? Bananas!
Sorry to dump water on your head when you’re loving that runner’s high, but just running ain’t gonna make you fit. Clocking in miles after miles day after day will hurt you more than help you. Been there done that. If you’re running enough to ice your knees at least once every week you’re overdoing it. And no, distance runners are not the healthiest folks on the planet.
Make no mistake, a healthy dose of running is awesome and has great cardiovascular benefits and muscle stimulating effects. But that is, if done right. What is running right? How much running is good? That is a subject for a whole new blog post.
Enough of the ‘jogging’ nonsense. Grow a pair and start sprinting. Women folk don’t need to grow nothing. Just start sprinting. And by the way, if you proudly say “I eat junk. Then I burn it off by running” you’re no different than the retarded skinny chic suffering from bulimia nervosa (binge eating followed by barfing).
3. I’m on the road a lot. It’s impossible to stay in shape.
You know who else is on the road a lot? This guy!
This is Mike Rowe. I seriously doubt that you travel more than this guy does. This is how he stays in shape. No gyms, no body sculpting classes. Just good old prisoner cell workout. If he can do it, you can do it.
4. I’m a working mom. Trust me you don’t know what it takes to work full-time and take care of a kid. Working out or watching what I eat is the last thing on my mind.
I truly appreciate the effort you put in to ensure that there is enough money in the bank and the husband doesn’t get the maid pregnant and the kids don’t do drugs. But this is no reason to look like a hippo. Eating clean will shed most of your flab and you know it. Doing a 20 min workout three times a week and walking for an hour on the other days will help you shed the remaining flab. Check out these workouts for some ideas.
By the way ”I have to finish up my kid’s plates” is the stupidest statement ever. Excess food is better off in the trash than in your body as fat. Still feel bad about wasting food? Save it and donate it to the less fortunate or make just enough food next time.
5. I don’t know which gym to join. One gym has awesome classes and a pool but the other one has a bad-ass weight room and a sauna. Oh shit this third gym is 10% cheaper but they have no bun shaping classes!
How about no gym?A gym is not a requirement to get fit. You can stay super fit and healthy by doing home workouts which require little to no equipment. Check out this and this for no equipment workouts you can do in your house without having to pay a fortune for a fancy gym that has an Olympic size pool you will probably never use.
Have random stuff laying around in the house? Try something like this. Got nothing but a dumbbell? How about this? Paid for a treadmill? One of these should work. Want something more intense and well-rounded? Check out p90x.
There is one and only one requirement to get fit and stay fit – motivation. If you care about living healthy (and in turn keeping your family healthy) you will find ways to eat right and stay active. Excuses are just your way of fooling yourself. Remember – your body is the only thing that will stay with you forever. Not your car, not your cat, not your kids and definitely not your excuses. Take good care of it today and it will serve you well for a long long time to come.
PS: I’ve got at least another 50 such excuses in my inbox. I’ll address them in future posts.