The Next Iron Chef

While some of you think I’m out of my mind when I say drop the stupid grains and base your foods around whole and real ingredients, some of you just ignore what I say because you’re thinking cooking/eating a meal without grains is impossible because

  1. It’s too expensive
  2. It’s time consuming
  3. No way it’s tasty!

Please let me explain why this is just another one of your dirty excuses.

I’m sure we’ve all eaten fancy, upscale restaurants. Obviously our local favorites serve awesome tasting food for much cheaper than their fancy counterparts. Unfortunately this makes us believe that cooking food like in these local restaurants (built around grains and cereals – meat and rice, burritos, naan and subzi, pizza, sandwiches/subs etc.) is much cheaper, faster and easier than what the fancier restaurants serve.

Well, let’s take a moment and think about some common characteristics of all fancy-ass restaurants. May be you ‘know’ this but I’m pretty sure you haven’t ‘realized’ it till now.

  • Menu: Most of the items are built around meat or a vegetable protein, dairy, vegetables, fruit and nuts.  Eg. Fillet Mignon with Roasted Vegetables, Poached Wild Alaskan Salmon with Sauteed Spinach & Toasted Pine Nuts, Marinated Grilled Tempeh with Brandied Peach Salad
  • Quality: Everything is prepared using fresh and raw ingredients. Dressings are made from scratch using lime, coconut milk/oil, lemon grass etc.
  • Fats: Butter, coconut oil, tallow, olive oil, avocado oil etc.
  • Cost: $$$$
  • Taste: Needless to say that the food tastes pretty frackin awesome.

Here is what you don’t know.

  • The time taken to cook these ‘upscale foods’ is much shorter than making junk food. Grilling/broiling/roasting your favorite protein and steaming/sauteing your pound of vegetables takes a lot less time to prep, cook and clean than cooking, say, rice and curry.
  • The cost of making these upscale foods is almost exactly the same as making your normal grain centric food. Coconut milk and clarified butter are super cheap and available in pretty much all indian/asian stores. Same case with lemon grass and lemon.
  • As far as taste is concerned… see below frackers!

I was watching this show called ‘The Next Iron Chef’ on Food Network a couple of days back (While I have no interest in talking about the show itself, I will ask ‘What the frac is the deal with The Chairman??). This particular episode had all the chef’s competing to become the next Iron Chef battle it out at a beach. The deal was as follows.

  • The chefs were asked what one ingredient they’d choose if stranded on a desert island. That would become the chef’s key ingredients for the day’s competition.
  • Each chef’s beach “kitchen” includes a grill and a prep table. And that’s not. No blenders or food processors or fancy torches or sorbet makers.
  • The chef’s had 60 mins to prepare a meal. Note: All ingredients were provided raw. Some chef’s had to cut open an entire pig white some other had to peel corn.
  • Ingenuity was the quality the judges were after.

So why am I even writing about this challenge?

  • The chef’s had to cook on a beach with only hand tools – Simulates ancestral cooking with hand-tools.
  • All ingredients were raw and fresh – Just the way the ingredients would have been available in ancestral times. No boxes. No freakin soybean oil. No processed crap.
  • No grains were available – Grains are ‘inedible’ in their raw state and cooking grains would require vessels and more than just fire which was not available… not to the chef’s, not to the early man.
  • Chef’s had to make their own oils/fats – Bottles of oil were not available… not to the chef’s, not to the early man.
  • Sauces/dressings/seasonings had to be made from scratch – Ranch and thousand island dressing were not a preferred food source… not for the chef’s, not for the early man.

The chef’s chose ingredients based on their expertise and 60 mins later there was an exhibition of some of the world’s most delicious and healthy dishes! So if your argument is that you can’t cook grain-free sugar-free healthy meals that taste great, then check these foods out and then continue to lobotomize yourself.

Chicken Under a Coconut With Caramelized Plantain Puree and a Watermelon Salad

Winning Dish: Chile and Garlic Marinated Pork Loin With Coconut Kidney Clam Stew, Mango-Avocado-Sea Bean Parfait and Lychee Sambal

Charred Ginger-Flavored Turkey Topped With Coconut Turkey Gizzards Sauce and Caramelized Plantains With Watermelon Basil Slaw

Corn and Coconut-Poached Santa Barbara Prawns With a Ragu of Sweet Corn, Habanero Chile, Hearts of Palm and Mint with A Grilled Corn, Dried Apricot and Mint Chutney Garnished With Fresh Sea Beans

You guys get what I’m saying here?? What I’ve been asking you to eat all along (the real food stuff) is the mouth watering exemplary stuff you pay for in upscale fancy ass snooty restaurants! You dig?

Next time you need a recipe for dinner, check out one of the fancy menus from the rich-people-restaurants.  Grain-free sugar-free recipes are everywhere folks. Search and you will find!

– Peace out.

2 responses to “The Next Iron Chef

  1. Laundry Sorter · November 14, 2010 at 8:51 am

    food processors can really shorten the time it takes for you to prepare home cooked meals `’*

  2. Laundry Sorter November 16, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    we have a great variety of hand tools at home, we always buy it from the local home depot :,*

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